Excerpt: Derek Haines Milo Moon

The Excerpt Reader is all for landing out a hand to fellow Twitter and Facebook followers and helping them out in this cruel literary world. 

Hélas, there comes a point in every blogger's life when truth must prevail over favorism, and the moment has come.  

Derek Haines (Twitter profile avows he is an "Author, Songwriter, Poet, Idiot. Never too old to Rock & Roll and vandalize words and music") is a self-published author whose writing ranges in genres as wide as fiction, science fiction, historical fiction, essays and poetry. 

Just in the last year, he has self-published no less than 5 books but we are warned by the writer himself of more books to come: "Writing now full time, there are always manuscripts in varying stages of development, but one always has top priority and occupies the current project page of my website." 

No doubt Haines has written all these books all for the drawer and mass-published them on a whim in 3 month intervals. 

Be as it may, he is continuing to write in an alarming pace (warning: his next book is still a 'big secret' but i expect it will be released before the year is over, if all goes well in the Haines writing factory).

It isn't clear whether these books have gained any commercial success, but the impressive followers span Haines gas gained on Twitter suggests there is something to be found in his novels.

The reason, readers, for the inhabitual sarcastic tone the Excerpt Reader is using in this post is sadly the quality of writing we must bear from this over-

fruititious (as in 'fruitful', not gay) and prolific writer. 

Haines' latest published novel is Milo Moon, a historical/scientific novel set in post-World War II Switzerland where medical and physiological experimentation on humans is everyday practice and where (anti) heroes Milo Moon and Mary Seaton set out to save the world and unravel the truth. 

As testimony, here's a short excerpt from the novel, which testifies to the literary style Haines employes as well as to the traits of his novel's 'hero':

Being a nobody was Milo's specialty. If he had been average it would have made him happier. But this wasn't to be. His hair was receding, thinning and had a nondescript type of mousy grey color about it [...] At five foot three he made no impression whatsoever, and was well accustomed to being overlooked. [...] no one ever noticed Milo anyway. If anyone had taken the time they would have discovered a very polite, honest and boring young man with a somewhat childish disposition who rarely smiled as there was no reason to it in his mind. 

And this is just the first page..

Reading Haines makes you think again about our age of mass-publishing and the inherent advantages of publishing with a big publishing house, where those efficient editors, sorting the wheat from the chaff as it were, come in handy...

True, The Excerpt Reader has avowed (well, at least to himself) to read a full excerpt before passing any judgement upon a given novel, but having read the first few pages of Milo Moon, i believe the job sufficed (so much so, that a thought has occurred, to devote one's time to reviewing bad books, if only for the humane purposes invested in it, that of warning innocent souls. A suggestion for the blog's name: BadBookReview).

VERDICT: DON'T BUY (Unless you already bought and read all dime store novels out there and are looking for some more..) 


  1. Ah! You know what? I don't want to poop the A-Z party or anything, but really maybe I would suggest A-Z to write something of his own than 'reviewing' and 'bashing' someone else's hard work!

    Another advice: Stop using 'A-Z' as a name.. Why? Well, I'm sure both A and Z have enormous problems with it! ;)

  2. Dear Da SchriBlurGirl,

    Thank you for your comment.

    A-Z are my initials, hence I shall stick to them for a while longer if you don't mind.

    As for writing something of my own, well thanks for the advice, I just might do that,

    Yours Faithfully,
    The Excerpt Reader